I remember that second essay assignment in English Comp I. The professor said the essay had to be a personal essay with a minimum of three pages. Ha! I can do that. The key word for me was minimum. I felt so proud of myself as I handed in fifteen (yes, FIFTEEN) pages of a personal essay a true story of an event that shaped my life (and not for the better). What a shock for the professor when I plopped it on her desk. What a shock for me as she handed it back without a grade and exclaimed, "I said an essay, not a short story." I argued that my pages were that of an essay. She said an essay is "true". I responded with a scowl that the essay I handed in is true. "But it is a short story, not an essay." This conversation had me following her into her office where she would sit me down on that wooden chair next to her desk (I later wrote a short story about that chair referring to it as an electrocution chair). So there we sat, inside her office as she explained over again exactly what an essay is and what an essay is not. Focus and discipline, she said, were the two things I lack. I left her office pouting and promising myself to look up the words "discipline" and "focus" in my dictionary.
I looked up those words and since then have dreaded writing the essay. I want to blame myself for having A-D-D with a type A personality along with my love for caffeine knowing all these are a lethal combination when it comes to writing an essay. I thought about going to my doctor and asking for a prescription that included focus and discipline but decided against it because I like myself. Therefore, instead, I cut back on the caffeine. Well, I cut back just a little bit. I also promised myself to try harder at staying focused and disciplined when the task of writing an essay enters my life again.
On writing the personal essay, I have since discovered that I do like to meander into unexpected places instead of taking a straight path from A to B. After all, where is the fun in shooting straight? Unless one shoots an arrow or fires a gun, why make a straight shot? As long as I end up at the same destination, who cares what roads I take to get there? I enjoy the scenic routes, yes, even in writing.
Now that I am rereading page thirty-eight in the book "The Art of the Personal Essay", I found a line or two that has me wanting to show this page to that same professor. "The essayist must be a good storyteller." I have the urge to go sit on that wooden chair inside her office and plop those fifteen pages back on her desk and say "There!" But, then, she would probably hit the button and have me electrocuted.
I am not a meanderer myself but this essay makes me feel like I'm on your side. I love the comparison of the professor's chair to an electrocution chair as well as all the enthusiasm and energy you put into it. It has me convinced of your love of caffeine.
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about taking the scenic route in writing. I often find myself in places that I never expected to reach when writing personal essays, and I have found that sometimes the storytelling takes a few more pages than the average writer, but I think the writers with the most to tell are among the most interesting!
ReplyDeleteWell, I am going to play the devil's advocate here. I would say that the biggest reason that your professor asked you to trim your essay was probably time. Think about it: you were one in a class of 15-20 (if you were at an ECU sized school), and each person was turning in at least 3 pages. I am sure that teachers love to read essays, but many of these essays (especially in Comp classes) are pretty hard to get through. With all the structure, grammar, spelling (surprisingly, less people use spell check than you would think) and general poor writing issues, it can take a while to get through a class full of essays.
ReplyDeleteThe other reason I think you were asked to re-write the essay is exactly what your prof said: discipline and focus. While readers of fiction are interested in the color of the shades, or whether a carpet was shag or berber, readers of essays are looking more for the point, the "so what". Meandering in a short story is great, but it tends to detract from the "so what" in an essay. This is not to say that personal essays do not meander, but I feel that each side path taken is only there to prove the point more fully.
Your comment about shooting straight leads me to this analogy: writing an academic essay is to shooting an arrow as writing a personal essay is to shooting a basketball. With an academic essay, there is always pressure to get the point as succinctly as possible. A personal essay, on the other hand, may start out heading for the rafters before it eventually swishes through the net (or not). To continue with the metaphor: one's a business and the other's a game.
ReplyDeleteI think the ending of this essay, when you return to the image of the chair, swishes through the net.
Ah yes, I remember the straight jacket I wore in Comp I; it was rather uncomfortable for me as well. I think that's what Comp I is though; it's like that play area for kids at the mall. You know the one with all the pads. The one they have set up where a kid could swan dive from the top of the highest toy and not get injured. That's not to say that Comp I is a breeze or a blow-off, but it is to say that sometimes, as it seems in your case, that the rules of some play areas are too strict for the mature kids (or writers in your case), and having to be confined to playing on a padded slide grates on those who would rather be swinging from the monkey bars.
ReplyDeleteHigh Five to Lisa and Wendi for making me feel like I am not alone in this business of writing. Thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteChad--Oh, I feel much better after reading your comment as I did not know that other writers feel imprisoned by the confinements of the essay. Thanks for sharing your feelings. . .and here I am picturing you with a straight jacket and me sitting on my electric chair.
Rodney, the length was just fine. Of course, the English department soon learned to give the class minimum pages to write and to give Paula (me) MAXIMUM pages to write as I do tend to extend my thoughts. You are so right about the Focus and Discipline. There is a fine line between the essay and the short story as discussed in the Introduction of "The Art of the Personal Essay". That fine line is where I have trouble maintaining my focus. Thank you so much for your insight!!
ReplyDeleteSteve, this is why I am in your class- to learn how to "shoot straight" in the business of the academic essay and to learn the "rules of playing basketball" when writing the personal essay. Thanks for the analogy as this has me understanding the differences in the essays.
ReplyDeleteStrait jackets, padded cells and electric chairs.
ReplyDeleteLadies and gentlemen: welcome to the schoolhouse!
(I'm digging the metaphors.)